Dear QuicklyBored.com, I found your site after following a link from streetbonersandtvcarnage.com. Because of that, and your ambiguous name I wasn’t expecting to find such a focused devotion to technology, and not even just technology in general – MOBILE PHONE TECHNOLOGY. Anyway, despite my Victorian grip on contemporary technology I still sat and trolled through a good few hours’ worth of articles. It was a sunny day, my Mum had left me a list of chores and my summer my reading list from Uni which included the entire works of Shakespeare had just arrived- what else was I going to do?
So, from someone who’s currently working with this sophisticated piece of equipment:
…WHAT? Seriously, I love your site. Kyle’s all night queuing adventure was truly gripping. But WHAT? How can this be? How is there that there is an entire world of people interested enough in phones, and games for phones and increased megapixels in cameras for phones to merit a blog? A blog with adverts! A proper blog! I am flabbergasted enough to discover that people get excited about the arrival of new phones to use the word flabbergasted. I think this is how boys feel when they discover that girls like sex too. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I think phones are a waste of time, or that anyone with anything beyond a fleeting interest in their shiny surfaces has fostered a lust for gadgetry to fill the gaping chasm of an unsatisfactory sex life. Are people honestly excited by the imminent arrival of the Blackberry thunder (see, I really have read it). Do you reall have an office? Do you really have a sofa? An actual sofa? In your actual office?
I love my phone. It is pink because popularity was measured in terms of how many different shades of pink you could incorporate into your daily life. The lower half is blue because when I realised I needed to include a photo with this message I wanted to my phone to look her best. I thought I’d be doing her rather a disservice to put her on the Internet without a touch up. You might notice score marks from where in my enthusiasm/total neglect for professionalism I mis-aimed the brush and ended up having to use a corkscrew to scrape out nail varnish and get the keypad working again. Once I had the corkscrew out it seemed silly not to make full use of it. My phone not only bravely battled through my retarded attempts at a makeover but then got me drunk afterwards (sort of). I am pretty sure I could get through an awful lot of iPhones in half an hour with a corkscrew and some nail varnish. Once I had the corkscrew out it seemed silly not to make full use of it. When was the last time your iPhone got you drunk? It’s not that I think that phones are a waste of time, or that you guys have fostered a lust for gadgetery to fill the aching chasm of an unsatisfactory sex life (I looked at your photos, some of you are pretty good looking).
Never before I found quicklybored.com had it occurred to me to want a more up-to-date phone. Even now, now that I know, now that this whole new world has been opened up to me tumbled across your site a few days ago and have been a dedicated reader ever since. misleading name. Hello! You have got your priorities all wrong. I ended up reading countless press releases in hopes of discovering something as entertaining as your iphone queue adventure. I’m into adventures, maybe if your posts about new iPhone compatible games had more of a Davy Crockett vibe. This is the phone I’m using;
It’s pink because when it was first bestowed on me in 2001 when I was aged 11, popularity was measured in terms of how many shades of pink you could incorporate into your daily life. The lower half is blue because when I realised I had to include a photo in this letter, I wanted to jazz my phone up a bit for the occasion. Seriously. You might notice score marks from where in my enthusiasm i misaimed the brush and ended up having to use a corkscrew to scrape out nailvarnish and to get the keypad working again.
I am an avid reader of your site. However, when I first stumbled across it some…um…well, some days ago, I wasn’t aware that the WHOLE THING was about phones. In my whole life I don’t think I have ever spent longer than 15 minutes combined talking about phones. Most of these conversations.
I liked yr post on camera phones but i find that if i just go online i can collect pictures my friends sent me. This is the last one i got:
Great photo but not necessarily something i’d want to receive on the bus (and I’ll receive pretty much anything on the bus). Phones have got too high-tech!
-Fi
Dear Fi,
Sorry I had to edit your letter a whole bunch for a few reasons:
1) You repeated a whole paragraph but in different words. Like in the first paragraph you said you got your phone when you were 12 and it’s pink because pink was popular. Then later on you say the exact same thing but say you were 11. Are you a liar?
2) Some of it didn’t make sense
3) I’m incredibly anal and can’t look at the word “iPhone” unless the ‘i’ is lowercase and the ‘P’ is uppercase. It’s a bad habit from working in this business.
Thanks for the huge letter and I hope we can help get you a better phone. If we were to pay you by the word for this letter, you’d be able to afford this:
And yeah, we do have an office but nobody seems to ever be here except me. Check it out, this is at NOON, nothing but empty desks:
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