Will you be my Bejewel?
Poor Tony. First we make him take on Matthew Broderick and the coming robot overlords, and now this. You see, Tony’s a really lonley guy who’s looking for a girl to appreciate his unique qualities — namely a love for casual games on his mobile. So we couldn’t help but ask him to document his mission to use the casual games he loves so much to help him find that special someone. His weapon of choice: Bejeweled.
My name is Tony. I like mobile games, but I also like the ladies. I used to think that the two would never mix, like salted meat and intimacy, or white people and dreadlocks. Now I aim to find out if they somehow do mix, in the hookups sense. Maybe Cassanova 2007 will have lines like: “My Nintendog has really grown to like you, and Cody is a very good judge of character.”
Earlier this week I happened upon a juicy morsel that is just a question waiting to be answered. Get this: my roommate tells me that there is a girl that she works with who would do anything to get Bejeweled on her mobile phone for free. I know this sounds crazy at first pass, so let me fill you in with a little bit of back-story so that we can get moving with my experiment of loose morals and mobile puzzle games.
Here�s what I know about her:
- Her parents are rich and she drives a Mercedes Benz Kompresso
- She works in a medium-scale fashion boutique where the employees are all funky slash hot.
- She’s super-cute and appears innocent (i.e. very NOT innocent)
As for why she made this claim about wanting Bejeweled in such a naughty way? My guess is that was one of those random statements that come out of working in an all-girl establishment. Basically it’s the adult equivalent to an all-girl liberal arts school, with me as the all-boy school badass nerd hunk of coolness.
Here’s what she doesn’t know about me:
- I am not a creep or a stalker in any way.
- My roommate is one of her co-workers and she’s on Team Tony.
- I am in denial about how creepy and stalkerish this is.
- I am posting this so I don’t chicken out.
Okay, before I go any further with this, I’m gonna give all of you anonymous Internet haters a chance to give me a piece of your mind. Email your revulsion and/or suggestions to help me succeed at tony at quicklybored.com. At the very least I can sell your addresses to spam lists to get a haircut and improve my odds.
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